


you know you're not alone

by bellamyblakru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BC WTF WAS THAT MCAP SCENE WE GOT??? outrageous, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Clarktavia BROTP TOOO, Clurphy BROTP in this house, F/M, Gen, I Will Go Down With This Ship, OH and i curse occasionally, POV Clarke Griffin, Season/Series 07, Slow Burn, The 100 (TV) Season 7 Speculation, actually not quite spec more like what i wanted the rest of the season to be, becho is over in this sorry, clarke griffin is a queen and expect nothing less from my fics, i love memori too, i will try to fix princess mechanic, millarke brotp (thats miller/clarke friendship bc i love that), post 7x11, will explore clarke’s shit that she’s been through unlike the show
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26076448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellamyblakru/pseuds/bellamyblakru
Summary: a canon divergence of season 7 after bellamy tells bill about the flame.(this would be how i would want the rest of season seven to go. i wanted to write this SPECIFICALLY because of that wasted canon mcap scene they threw at us. the wasted potential hurt me, which is why this was born.)
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 32
Kudos: 116





	1. betrayal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this first chapter takes place the second after bellamy tells bill about the flame :)

Clarke’s world came to an abrupt stop. Bellamy just betrayed her. He ruined their only chance on getting off this stupid, brainwashed planet. _Why would he betray me,_ **_again_** _? Again_ was the word repeating in her head. _Again_ this could lead to Madi getting hurt by people who should have no business going near her kid. 

Would Bellamy tell them about Madi? If you asked Clarke yesterday, when she thought he was dead, her immediate response would have been an absolute no. He wouldn’t risk her child, knowing how upset and angry Clarke was last time. 

Back then, no one gave it a second thought. Putting _her child_ in danger to save everyone else. The child who helped keep Clarke sane for six years, the child who Clarke loved more than anything in the world, the child who Clarke promised every story that her _friends_ were the heroes each time. Madi was there for her when her friends couldn’t be. She doesn’t blame them for that, of course, they couldn’t have been there. But, she raised Madi. Madi gave Clarke something to live for, and her _friends_ came back down after six years and forced her child to become like Clarke. 

Clarke’s main goal with Madi was to help her have a normal childhood—without the burdens that were thrown unwillingly on Clarke at such a young age. Madi was a child, but Spacekru had to forced leadership, forgoing any sense of normalcy Clarke aimed for. She couldn’t be a normal teenager now, and now she was once _again_ in danger because of Bellamy.

She doesn’t remember being moved into a cell with Octavia and Miller, but one of them was trying to coax her down onto a bed. She blearily looked up to see Octavia’s and Miller’s worried faces. 

“Are you guys okay?” Clarke asked, concerned, _did I miss something?_

Miller raised his eyebrows, “Clarke, you haven’t talked in hours. We should be asking you that.”

 _Hours?_ Clarke sat back and drew up her legs, resting her head on her knees.

“I’m fine,” she assured. 

Miller scoffed, unconvinced, but Octavia pulled back his arm and sat next to Clarke.

“I’m not,” Octavia answered. Clarke straightened up and looked over, worry etched into each line of her face.

Octavia motioned Miller to sit in front of them, and after huffing out a breath, he obeyed. 

Octavia put her head on Clarke’s shoulder and started speaking softly.

“A few days ago, Hope was my little girl. Now, because of the time dilation, she is a grown woman. Two days ago, Diyoza died saving Hope’s chance at living a life without being a mass murderer. I spent ten years with them before Diyoza and I were taken away from Hope to Bardo for questioning. Diyoza became my best friend, my sole confidant, the only person who understood me and helped me understand who I wanted to become. Hope became my reason for change. She gave me reason to keep fighting.”

She paused her, whipped her tears that slipped out, and looked at Clarke.

“I think I understand you more now,” Octavia managed a small smile at Clarke’s quick disbelief.

“I’d do anything for Hope. You’d do anything for Madi. I’m guessing we both wanted them to not follow in our footsteps, but look where that got us, huh?”

Octavia’s tears were still slowly falling, and Clarke hugged her closer. 

“We’re going to get out of this, I promise. There is still hope for our young ones Octavia, we still have time to create a better world for them.” Clarke meant every word, and she would get them out of here if it was the last thing she did.

Miller interjected, “what about Bellamy? How are we supposed to get him back to our side? If he betrayed you that easily for this false god, then how do we snap him out of it? No offense Octavia, but I am not playing this blodreina game again with another Blake leading the charge.”

Octavia looked thoughtful at that, obviously not offended in the least. Clarke watched her response in amazement, “wow. You really have changed, huh? I’ve missed you.” Clarke side hugged her, and Octavia whispered back, “I’ve missed you too, Clarke.”

After Clarke let go, she was about to address Miller’s question when the door opened. Bellamy walked in, fully shaved and dressed in white, with two armed guards behind him. Bellamy nodded at them and the guards stayed on the other side and the door shut once again. 

All three prisoners stood up. Miller laughed. “Man, you look ridiculous. I hope betraying us was worth this little makeover.” Miller stood protectively in front of Octavia and Clarke, shielding them the best he can. Bellamy looked unfazed with his remarks, and looked towards Clarke.

Clarke snapped when she saw his unemotional eyes. She moved Miller out of the way and walked into Bellamy’s space.

”I was so excited to see you again Bellamy. What the fuck happened back there? Did someone brainwash you into believing what the religious fanatic who runs an obvious cult for power says, or do you actually believe in that shit? The Bellamy who I thought died would rather eat his own tongue that betrays the people he loves, so blatantly at that.”

Octavia walked up to join Clarke, grabbing her hand for support. Miller joined Clarke's other side, ready to fight.

Bellamy barely reacted, but Clarke could tell something happened to him that she didn’t know about. His breath hitched for a second, but his calm demeanor stayed. He took a deep breath, “Clarke, you should have seen it, what I went through. We were going to die on that mountain, but the minute I prayed, I saw mother again,” he glanced, now desperately trying to explain, at Octavia, “she helped me see the pure, unadulterated light of transcendence. These life forms are what we can become if we fight The Shepherd’s last war, we can finally have the freedom we always wanted.”

Clarke, unmoved, responded sarcastically, “yeah, and by fighting in his last war for mankind you give up what makes us human. How does that sound right to you? Removing attachment, loving others, committing to morals and values, experiencing emotions? That’s what makes us human. Your system takes away our individuality, how people love each other. Why fight in a war that takes away what makes us feel alive, Bellamy? Don’t you see?”

Clarke was desperate to get through, but Bellamy was vehemently shaking his head. “No, no, no. You don’t get it Clarke. Those things, human nature, is the problem. Betrayal, senseless bloodshed, hatred, bigotry are all aspects of loving some more than others and that will never lead to peace.”

Clarke could see how much he meant this, how much he truly believed in this cause. Bellamy looked directly in her eyes, “Clarke, tell me where the Key is. You guys would be safe, and if you don’t, they will execute you. All of you.”

Miller stepped forwards, about to tell him where he could stick the Key, but Clarke slightly shook her head. 

She answered cooly, “No, I will not. I want to believe in you, Bellamy, but this is not the way. I understand, probably more than anyone, what it’s like to be alone for months with nothing to believe in. I understand the need to grab onto anything that gives you meaning, but no. I will not sit by and help that fanatic fight his war.”

Octavia tightened her hand around Clarke’s, giving her the strength she needs. 

Bellamy looked down, disheartened at her answer. “Are you all not with me?” He asked slowly.

Octavia spoke first, “Big brother, I love you, I always will, but I stand with Clarke. No more false gods for me.”

Miller grabbed Clarke’s other hand, “Sorry Bellamy, not doing this again either. You can take your stupid white clothing and go float yourself. I’m with Clarke.”

A tear fell down Clarke’s cheek at the support, she gratefully squeezed both their hands in appreciation.

Bellamy looked up at the wall of support they made and shook his head, “attachment like this is why humankind are unable to live peacefully together,” he said sadly.

“Guards!” 

They came in immediately, and Miller threw Clarke behind him. Miller and Octavia both took up a protective stance in front.

“Take the blond to M-Cap, we have a long day ahead of us,” and with that he turned around and left.

Miller and Octavia were about to kick their asses when Clarke spoke softly behind them, “guys, it’s okay. I’ll go willingly. Maybe there is a way I can get you all out here safely without any more people getting hurt.”

They looked unwilling to let her go, but trusted her judgment. Miller hugged her tight, “if they lay one wrong finger on you, I will kill them all.” Octavia hugged her and said a similar statement, making Clarke smile a bit.

“I don’t doubt you guys,“ she gave them a small smile, “but trust me, I got this” and she turned around.

The guards roughly grabbed her and pushed her forwards towards the M-Cap machine, which Octavia told her briefly about, and tried to prepare for her mind to get violated. _Again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO LOVELIES!! 
> 
> i decided to write my own season seven fic after that fucking wasted potential of the mcap scene! hopefully this is an alright start, but please let me know if i should or need to fix anything (or if you want me to address something specific in this fic later on!!) 
> 
> i think us clowns deserve a little self indulgent fanfic since canon does us dirty, so i hope this fic will help a little 🥺
> 
> im not sure how many chapters yet, since im winging it, but im extremely excited to write something a little bit bigger for this fandom.
> 
> i adore bellarke.
> 
> (also, if you wanna come say hello or have a prompt you want me to do, my tumblr is @bellamyblakru too🥺💞)
> 
> (title is from the song “she couldn’t“ by linkin park)


	2. a few painful memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clarke gets forced into the mcap machine and chaos pursues. (tw: canon violence description)

Clarke tries to memorize the route they were taking. Not blindfolding her was a mistake that would cost them dearly--if she could figure out a way to get them all out of here. 

She stumbled along, trying to collect any pride she could manage before facing the violation against her mind. She could barely make out the back of Bellamy’s head in front of her and her heart gave a small twinge in her chest. They never walk like this. They were always side by side, but here the space between them felt vast and uncontrollable. She missed him, but he didn’t miss her. He couldn’t. 

Her guards weren’t gentle as she turned her head to scope out more the place as they pushed her with enough force to hit the floor. Bellamy turned around at the small gasp Clarke made, and only demanded that they hurried this along.

Clarke lost any bravado at that dismissal, slowly slumping against her guards. She wasn’t weak, not by a long shot, but Bellamy was always what affected her the most. His heart was gone--it felt like hers went with it. The head needs to tell the heart to beat, but what happens if the heart was suddenly taken out of you? She was left with only her mind. Her mind is what always kept her people alive, so it must be the thing to save her now. Bellamy’s not here to save her anymore, and so she will do it herself--and to save Bellamy, too.

With her now hardened resolve, she straightened up and picked up her chin. They won’t break her, not here, not now, not ever. If she survived Praimfaya, then a little memory watching shouldn’t hurt her..right?

Bellamy opened the door to his right, and Clarke and her guards were quick to follow. She had to squint at the sudden blinding white room, _probably made to discombobulate their victims_ , she thought tiredly. Her guards shoved her in a chair and quickly strapped down her ankles and wrists. 

Her eyes widened when she realized Gabriel, Raven, and Hope were kneeling with gags on the other side with guns positioned at their heads.

“What the hell is going on? They have nothing to do with this!” Clarke demanded at Bill, who just walked in. 

Bill smiled, “they have everything to do with this, Clarke. We watched months of your life through Octavia’s memories, and we know enough to motivate you into cooperating with us. And if you fight it? Guards, show her what happens.”

Clarke yelled, trashing within her restraints, as the guards started kicking them brutally, “STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE” she pleaded, sobbing, “I’ll show you whatever you want, just please leave them alone.”

Bill smiled sweetly at her and nodded towards them to stop, “that’s what I like to hear, Clarke. You see why personal attachment dooms humanity now? Weakness cannot be tolerated.”

Clarke spit at his feet, “love isn’t weakness, you asshole. Love can only be a strength, weakness is made when you forget that.”

Bill nodded pityingly at her, “I can see how you think that.”

He looked towards another lady clad in all white, “begin the process. Start with the normal questions.”

He made eye contact with Clarke again, “remember what happens if you fight, Clarke, and we will not hesitate.”

Raven and Hope were trying to say something through the gags at Bellamy, but the guards kicked them both to stop. Clarke looked over to Gabriel, who, even though they barely knew each other for long, has become one of her closest friends. Gabriel, with sad, knowing eyes, gave her a small nod. She couldn’t work up more than a small smile at him, as she tried to remember what Octavia said about the machine.

_“To avoid what they specifically wanted, but to stop hurting myself, I tried to show my whole story from the beginning or certain memories I knew did not pertain to what they wanted, which was you actually,” Octavia had told her before, explaining how much it hurt when she fought it._

Clarke, knowing there was no way out of this, leaned back in the chair, staring at the contraption above. _This can’t be worse than Josie_ , she thought hopefully.

“Okay, Clarke. You’re in an endless desert, with a vast purple sky. You hear an insect buzzing in your ear, who is it?”

Clarke flinched when she felt the machine connect with her scalp, already feeling the blood going down her temples.

The screens flash, and she barely hears, “she is linked, sir.”

_They are back at the drop ship, she feels the sickness in every bone. She crouches down next to Murphy, a hand on his back, and she turns when she hears Bellamy coming. “Bellamy, stay back,” she warned, scared for his well being. “Did he do something to you?” Bellamy demands, looking at her face. She shakes her head, but Bellamy steps forward, concern written all over his face. “What the hell is this?” Bellamy questions. She answered quickly, “biological warfare.”_

The screen stopped when Clarke couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, and while she gasped for breath, Bill sighed. 

“We already know about John Murphy, of course he would be the insect in her ear. That doesn’t help us, ask her the next one.”

The lady nodded, “Clarke, you are in the same desert, alone, and a hand reaches out to you, who’s hand is it?”

The screen quickly shows the forest with Wells, Bellamy, Finn, Murphy, and Clarke all walking together, searching for something or someone. 

_They all run towards the moaning, hoping that Jasper is alive. They all abruptly stop when they see Jasper hanging within a tree, hurt and in pain. “Jasper!” Clarke exclaims, “Oh my god,” she whispers, already walking towards him to help. “Jasper?” She questions, Bellamy quickly behind her. “The hell is this?” he says, in disbelief, and that’s when Clarke walks directly into a trap, the ground leaving her feet in seconds. Bellamy doesn’t even hesitate to grab her hand to stop her from hitting the spikes at the bottom, her surprise mirrors his own, conflict mixing in on his face._

Clarke gasps again, her dark blood steadily pooling in her collarbone and hair. Bellamy’s face is still impassive, but his eyes were brighter than before, not that Clarke can tell, but Gabriel thoughtfully notices the effect her memories are having on him. Gabriel tries to get Clarke’s attention with yelling, but he is quickly silenced. 

Clarke regains her breath, trying to slow down the tears she just realized were flowing down her face. She quickly looks around. Bellamy is facing away from her, looking towards the screens with Bill, while Raven, Hope, and Gabriel are all staring at her. Gabriel, as subtle as he could, gently nods his head and directs his eyes towards Bellamy’s back then looks back at her.

Could that mean what she thinks? Can she get through to him this way? She wonders, but nods at Gabriel in understanding. _I need to hit the right memory,_ she realizes, but the exhaustion of this just hit her full force. She could barely open her eyes.

The lady looks at Bill, “My Shepherd, she can only do one more for today unless you want her brain to hemorrhage.”

Bill nodded, thoughtful, and asked Bellamy, “what question do you think would help our cause?”

Bellamy froze for a second, unprepared for this, but answered dutifully, “probably around or after Praimfaya, My Shepherd.”

Clarke blinked, confused, _he knew it was after Praimfaya, maybe he is trying to protect Madi?_ Clarke concluded that the feeling in her chest at that answer was hope. There is still hope for Bellamy, sooner rather than later. She will get him back to her.

Bill nodded at the lady, “let’s finish for today, then. Ask away.”

The lady turned towards the M-Cap, “Clarke, can you show me Praimfaya?”

Clarke unwillingly flinched at the violent memory that came up.

 _Clarke talks into her radio, “Raven? Bellamy? If you can hear me, don’t wait.” She grabs all the equipment needed to manually align the dish, looking up towards the climb, and speaks clearly, knowing her fate: “_ _Ai gonplei ste odon.” (My fight is over)._

 _She steeled herself for the sacrifice she was willingly making, and_ _started steadily climbing the tower to the dish that needed to be fixed for her people to survive in space. One of the steps falls off higher up, but she grabs on tightly. She sees the radiation coming towards her, so she starts climbing faster._

_Clarke looks over to see the rocket flying towards space, her heart dropping, but she knows her job isn’t done yet. She continues on for her friends, to save the ones she loves one last time. She eventually makes it to the top, and with much difficulty, finally hears “dish aligned” to which she cheers, “yes!” The radiation coming shuts down the equipment, and Clarke, now upset and frustrated, throws it._

_The flames are coming closer at a terrifying speed. She managed to get down the tower and run, as fast as she can, through the forest with the radiation close at her heel. She trips over a fallen log, cracking her helmet. She can feel the flames burning her up, inflicting a pain she thought wasn’t possible, but continues running._

_She finally makes it into the lab, out of breath, falling down. She stumbles up onto the main console, radiation burning all over her skin, coughing out her blood. The pain becomes unbearable, and she finally passes out._

Clarke comes out of that memory screaming her lungs out, but forces herself to stop once she realized the screeching was coming from her. Her eyes are blurry, her mind feels sluggish and unresponsive. The last thing she remembers is seeing Raven trying to call out her name, sobbing, but then Clarke gratefully accepted the darkness that was begging to take over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH i really liked this chapter you guys!!! what did you think? i got super into it, so i hope its good lmfaoo
> 
> one day, clarke mf griffin wont be tortured to save her friends and that will be the day i throw a fucking party.
> 
> more mcap next chapter!! i needed to give my girl a break. 
> 
> also, gabriel/clarke brotp is probably one of my favorite things that came out of season 6 and 7, he is a legend, and i will write him accordingly lmfaoo


	3. part two of angst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we get some soft moments with my favorite clarkru people and more angst ft mcap
> 
> (tw!!!: canon violence descriptions, including the gun scene from 5x01 in the desert when clarke was thinking about giving up, so if you dont want to read that description, you can totally skip it!!! it is in the first description of her memories)

Clarke woke up with her head on Octavia’s lap, who was slightly dozing herself. Her head was pounding, and worsened with each breath she took. She tried not to wince, but failed miserably since Octavia straightened up at the sound immediately. 

“Oh my god, Clarke,” Octavia whispered, signaling Miller, who rushed over from his post at the door.

Clarke sat up, ignoring the pulsing at her temples, and asked, groggily, “what happened?” 

Miller sat down next to her, “the new and improved Bellamy Blake came back in here carrying you in his arms and demanded, ‘to look after you,’” he rolled his eyes and continued, “yeah, like he needed to tell us that. What happened to you? He wouldn’t tell us, even before Octavia socked him in the face.”

Clarke looked over at Octavia in surprise, the question shinning in her eyes.

Octavia shrugged, but couldn’t help the smirk on her face while she said, “what? You leave perfectly fine and return looking half dead, crying in your sleep. As that’s not a perfectly good excuse to punch my brother?”

Clarke huffed out a laugh, “fair point, I hope it knocked some sense into him.”

Miller sighed, “I had to hold off the guards until Bellamy said he was okay, so that might be a good sign.”

Octavia glanced at him, not convinced, “how is that a good sign?”

Clarke answered, “Bellamy didn’t retaliate and stopped the guards, that means, at least, our Bellamy is still in there deep down.”

Miller nodded, “exactly. Once we do get him back, I’ll throw a punch at him as well. You should have seen yourself, Clarke. We were terrified. You were literally caked in your own blood, sweat, and tears.”

Clarke looked down, shame filling her cheeks and thoughts, “I couldn’t hold them out, Octavia.” 

Octavia looked at her in sympathy, and grabbed Clarke’s hand.

“What happened?” She asked kindly.

“They had Gabriel, Hope, and Raven there. If I didn’t cooperate, then they would have killed them. Th-they would have killed them if I resisted,” Clarke’s breath hitched, “I couldn’t watch them get hurt because of me. Not again.” 

Octavia started rubbing her back, “Clarke. Look at me.”

Clarke’s red rimmed eyes met her knowing ones, “you always do what’s best for everyone, you led us when all hope was lost. You lead our people better than anyone, and that’s coming from someone who tried first hand to lead without you, and let me tell you, it is not easy. These burdens are not yours to bear alone anymore, not if I can help it.”

Clarke was tearing up, while Miller joined in, “not if I can help it either. We are with you, Clarke. You aren’t alone. Not anymore.”

She tried to smile, but their words hit her hard. Tears kept coming and she put her head on Octavia’s shoulder. Octavia tighten her hand, encasing Clarke in a hug.

Miller, with sadden eyes, asked the question no one wanted to say out loud: “So, how are we getting out of here.”

Clarke shook her head, trying to clear her emotions, and answered: “I have one plan, but I need Bellamy back on our side for it to work.” She paused here, and added quietly, “and I have a plan for that too.”

Miller started shaking his head at that ominous statement, “no. No. No. I know that look. That’s the ‘Clarke Griffin is about to sacrifice herself for her people’ look and it’s a no from me.”

“Miller, come on. I don’t have a look,” she rolled her eyes.

Miller gave a short laugh, “Clarke Griffin, you have a look for everything.”

Clarke laughed at that, and Octavia and Miller smiled at her. 

Clarke felt better already, “thank you guys. For everything.”

They both smiled and nodded.

“Of course, Clarke,” Octavia added, “you are my sister whether you like it or not.”

Clarke couldn’t help but beam at her, her heart full for the first time in what felt like weeks. But of course it couldn’t last, a second after Clarke’s smile, Bellamy came back with the two guards.

“It’s time again, Clarke. If you tell us now where the Key is, we don’t have to do this again.”

Clarke sighed, standing up with Miller’s help, “yes we do, Bellamy. Let’s get this over with.”

Miller whispered in her ear, while helping, “is going without a fight part of your plan to get Bellamy back? What are they doing to you there?”

Clarke gripped his arm tightly, “ask Octavia, I’ll be alright Miller. It’ll be like I never left,” she smiled at him and went willingly near Bellamy.

Clarke briefly looked back at her friends, amazed and so incredibly grateful at their support, and left them with a small, sad smile and nod. They returned it.

With her heart full, and her mind set, she went in stride with Bellamy—refusing to be forced behind him again, the uneven grounding between them feeling unapproachable. _But I’m going to fix this_ , she promised to herself, not faltering in her steps this time.

She was ready for the blinding lights, and stopped at the entrance to look at Raven, Gabriel, and Hope in the same positions as yesterday, _at least I think it was yesterday,_ Clarke thought, suddenly unsure how long she was out for. She stopped at Hope, her heart beating unsteadily knowing this was Octavia’s kid. 

“I’m so sorry,” Clarke consoled her, and then looked at the other two, “you guys don’t deserve any of this, I’m sorry for putting you in a position to get hurt again.” 

She didn’t get to see any reactions besides Hope’s, who softened at the apology, when the guard roughly said, “that’s enough” and pushed her into the chair again--wiped clean from yesterday. _It was like I was never here,_ she thought darkly.

Bill was already there, chatting away with the lady that was there yesterday as well.

He turns towards her once she was strapped in.

“So, Clarke. Are you ready, or do you need a reminder of what happens if you fight?” 

Clarke doesn’t hesitate, “let’s get this over with.”

He smiles, and whispers something to the lady.

“Begin. Let’s start off where we left off yesterday. What was it called? Praimfaya.”

The link was immediately connected, with Clarke not fighting it in the least today. She already knows where she wants today’s memories to show.

 _For Bellamy,_ was the mantra in her mind, _face it again for Bellamy._

The screens flicker, and Bill laughs in surprise, “that was much easier.”

She barely hears that, and forces her thoughts to go after Praimfaya. 

_Clarke pushes the rubble off, trying to get out. She still has slight burns on her face, her outfit prepared for the harsh environment. Panting, she overlooks the vast desert of destruction. She grabs her backpack, finding her map, “210 miles to Polis, at least I don't have to swim,” she remarks sadly._

_Once she makes it there, she searches Polis for anything other than the waste land it had become--but attempting to free the bunker proves fruitless at every attempt._

_“I'M HERE! I'M HERE! MOM!” she yells, hitting where the bunker entrance should be with a rock, moving nothing of the debris above it._

_She gives up soon and drives the truck to Arkadia instead._

_Clarke on top of the rover, radio sitting comfortably in her hand, begins her daily talk with Bellamy: “Where was I? Oh, right. Polis. Up until that moment, I believed I’d live in the bunker with the others, with my mom. I can’t bear the thought of leaving her down there, but the hard truth is, I could dig for years and never reach that door. I’ve been by myself now for two months, but this is the first time I feel alone._

_“It’s like we were never here. Maybe we never should have been. How the hell am I gonna make it 5 years? I came to Arkadia looking for food or water, but all I found were ghosts.”_

_She sobs looking at Jasper’s old memories, “a part of me thinks that Jasper had the right idea. What’s the point if all there is is pain and suffering?” She huffs out a laugh, “real cheerful, Clarke. I’m sorry. Ignore me, ok? I haven’t had water in two days. I need to find some soon or I don’t think I’m gonna—“ she pauses, “anyway, I doubt you can hear me on this piece of crap radio...but in case this is the last time I get to do this, I just want to say… Please don’t feel bad about leaving me here. You did what you had to do. I’m proud of you.”_

_The scene changes, you see Clarke walking through the desert, no water in sight for miles. She drops her walking stick, takes off the clothing protecting her from the sun, and drops to her knees in the sand and collapses unconscious._

_She wakes up burned, lost, and afraid. A feeling of terrible helplessness encases every part of her being. She falls down the sand hill, yelling, “AAAGH! I’M DONE! DO YOU HEAR ME? I’VE LOST EVERYTHING! I LOST MY FRIENDS, MY FATHER, MY MOTHER! I’VE GOT NOTHING LEFT!” She starts sobbing, but quickly controls herself, taking her gun out of her holster and points it at her temple._

_But, the bird she spotted before has come back, a sign for Clarke that not all is lost. “Hey!” She runs after it, and finally sees Eden. She says, “thank you” to the higher power who insists on playing these games with her, with tears forming in her eyes._

The screen flickered off again, Clarke was already thrashing with blood and sweat from the exertion of the machine. The lady lifted it off her for a moment’s rest. Clarke, panting, tried to catch Bellamy’s eye, to let them show everything she feels.

Bellamy wouldn’t look at her.

She sighed, and looked at Gabriel and Raven. The latter was crying, unable to directly look in Clarke’s eyes. Gabriel has a few tears rolling down his face, but she could tell his pain for her was not pity. It was pure sympathy. He managed a small smile, slightly nodding his head at her and then to Bellamy. _It’s working_ , her mind screams, wanting this to be over.

“Okay, sir. I think she can go again.”

“Clarke, show us about the Key. No more of this,” Bill demanded, upset at the waste of these memories.

“As you wish,” Clarke mumbles too quietly so no one hears.

The lights flicker, and the screen shows Clarke sitting at a table in Eden, eating berries.

_The radio in hand, she begins: “I used to think that life was about more than just surviving, but I’m not sure anymore. Animals don’t feel guilty when they kill. They just do it. They kill, or they get killed._

_“I tell myself that every life I took was for a reason, but the truth is, the other side had reasons, too. The grounders, the mountain men, even ALIE—The reason to want us dead were the same as ours. It was us or them, kill or be killed, simple as that._

_“So what now? What becomes the Commander of Death when there’s no one left to kill? I guess we’ll find out because my fight is over. The question is, who am I now?_

_“Wait till you see this place. It’s like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately, the radiation didn’t. I’ve lost track of how many bodies we've burned since reaching the ground._

_“God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive. If I knew I was gonna see you again. Positive thoughts, Clarke._

_“It’s been 58 days. By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing. How bad does it suck? No offense, Monty. And I found berries, a whole field of them! They’re not very sweet, but they’re beautiful. I think that’s what they used to make the paints for—” she abruptly stops, seeing a wild child in her peripheral._

_Clarke chases the kid, who is no more than six years old, trying to placate her in both English and in Trig._

_She was trying to calm the child down when the kid led her directly into a bear trap. The child screams, and attacks, yelling, “die Fleimkeepa!”_

_The child gasps after drawing Clarke’s blood, whispering, “nightblood,” then she runs away._

_Clarke, later in the day, places her now sewn leg into the water and speaks to no one:“last two people on earth, and one of them happens to be the child from hell.”_

_Clarke is soon drawing the wild child, knowing the kid was watching her. Clarke leaves the drawing behind for the kid, and the young Madi smiles._

Gasping once more, the machine is taken off. Clarke looks around, confused as to why they stopped. Raven and Hope were staring at the screen intensely, their eyes showing so much compassion. Clarke saw movement to her side and watched Bellamy’s hands quickly wipe his face. _Did I do it? Is he back?_

She originally wondered how she was going to bring him back to them, and she figured that showing him her darkest moments where all she did was talk to him to keep her sane would snap him out of it. She hoped it would, at least.

If Bellamy was their heart, then showing him how his heart was what truly kept her alive for six years must be the solution. _It must be._

Bill tilted his head, considering, “show me more about the girl.”

Clarke hated showing Madi at all, as she would truly rather cut her own hand off then show this power hungry fool more of her daughter. But if she kept the memories far away from the flame and stayed within their isolation days, then he will never find out.

The lady nodded, and it began again.

_Madi and Clarke, who was carrying fish, were getting ready for dinner, talking about the extra berries in the field that year. Madi was begging Clarke to dye her hair with the surplus. Madi promises to “cook for a week and clean up” if they went to the berry field. Clarke responds, smirking, “two weeks.” Madi doesn’t hesitate, “deal. Come on, I'll drive”_

_Clarke gives a soft smile she hasn't worn in ages and goes with Madi._

The scene changes quickly to that night. 

_Madi is talking to Clarke around a small campfire._

_“How could you not think [Octavia] would win?” Madi questions in Trig._

_“English, Madi,” Clarke chides, a gentle expression on her face at Madi's excitement._

_“I'm just saying, Skairipa’s a beast. Of course she wins the conclave.”_

_Clarke smiles at Madi, who notices the sad expression that filtered on Clarke’s face for a moment at the mention of Octavia._

_“Don't worry. [Octavia] will get them out of that bunker. I know she will.”_

_Clarke nods briefly at her, and Madi sees Clarke's drawing of the rocket going into space, “I’m sorry they left without you,” Madi says, upset for her mother._

_Clarke puts up a good front, “well, I’m not. Because if I was with them, I never would have met you.”_

_Madi lays her head on Clarke’s lap, “What about them?” Clarke says, looking towards the sky, “do you think they’ll come back, too?”_

The scene changes once more, _Clarke seems to be alone and grabs the radio, looking over the valley._

_The radio crackles to life, even though she knows no one is listening, “Bellamy. If you can hear me, you’re alive. It’s been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day. Maybe it’s my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am…who I was. It’s been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven’t you? The bunker’s gone silent, too. We tried digging them out for a while, but there was too much rubble. I haven’t made contact with them, either. Anyways, I still have hope. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green, and you’ll find me. The rest of the planet, from what I’ve seen, basically sucks, so—“ [boom] “Never mind. I see you.”_

_Clarke runs to find a sleeping Madi, “hey my little nightblood,” she starts in Trig, “it's time to wake up.”_

_“No lessons today,” Madi says sleepily in Trig. But she quickly wakes up to the noises coming above, something that sounds like a spaceship landing. Madi smiles, surprise._

_Clarke laughs softly, and says in Trig, “took you long enough.”_

_Madi beams with Clarke at the prospect of her friends finally returning home._

The screen returned to their normal white, and Clarke was silently sobbing at the pain in her head, begging darkness to take her like it did yesterday. 

It didn’t come.

The lady nodded at the guards, and they came over to undo her straps. She felt the material peel away from her blood soaked wrists and ankles. She winced, closing her eyes at the pain. She can’t even remember thrashing that hard, but her body felt more sore than it did yesterday. Her voice felt scratchy, and she realized she was probably screaming the whole time again. She wanted unconsciousness. 

Bellamy, with his head down, came over to Clarke and picked her up bridal style.

“My Shep--Bill, same plan as yesterday?” He asked, emotionless.

Clarke’s heart dropped even further, thinking she failed once more.

Bill barely looked over, in a deep talk with the lady who controls the machine, “yeah, yeah, same plan,” and he moved his hands in a shooing motion.

Clarke tiredly tried to look at the others, but she couldn’t lift her head enough to see. She heard Raven thrashing, and the grunt when one of the guards kicked her, but that quickly ended when they entered the dimmer hallway.

“I got it from here, guys, thank you,” Bellamy said to the two followers, who nodded at the dismissal, obviously trusting Bellamy.

“Clarke, are you awake?”

Clarke groaned, and opened her eyes to see his worried face, “no.”

Bellamy gave a small laugh, his eyes full of emotions.

“Ar-are you back with us?” Clarke stammered out quietly, pulling herself closer to his chest.

Clarke almost didn’t hear, “I’m always with you, Princess,” but she passed out with a small smile on her face. Bellamy knew she heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GOD THIS TOOK ME SO LONG GUYS. LITERALLY HOURS OF MY DAY
> 
> ive never work so hard on anything in my life i stg 
> 
> i hope you enjoy :'))) this was so much fun to work on and reminded me of how much of a queen clarke griffin is and how much i love bellarke


	4. reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some good talking🥺

Clarke woke up yet again with a raging headache, her limbs feeling like lead, and her heart broken. All she remembered from yesterday was the pain, but she had a lovely dream that Bellamy called her princess again. The thought still made her heart flutter. 

She cracked open her eyes. Bellamy was leaning on the door, looking at the ceiling. Clarke knew she was on Octavia’s lap again, and started to get up looking for Miller.

Her movement alerted everyone, and Miller came rushing over.

Clarke laughed at him, “don’t you ever sleep, Miller?”

He smiled softly at her, “I’ll sleep when you stop coming back here looking like the walking dead, but until then,” he shrugged, “I’ll worry about that later.”

She shook her head, “You should get some rest. We do want you on your best game, I’ll keep watch.”

Miller was about to tell her how bad she still looks when Bellamy agreed: “Miller, I can watch.”

Miller narrowed his eyes at him, “if I close my eyes, you actually promise this time to not hurt Clarke? Because if I find out you brought her back there when I wake up, I will kick the shit out of you.”

Bellamy, with a sorrowful look, put his hands up, like he was trying to ease down a wild animal, “I promise Miller. I swear nothing will hurt her anymore, not on my watch.” 

Miller, unconvinced, looked at Octavia, “what do you think?”

Octavia shrugged, “I’ll be up now, I can always kick his ass if he lies.”

Clarke smiled, and put her hand on Miller’s, “get some rest, we will wake you up if we come up with a plan.”

He nodded and went to one of the small beds, albeit hesitantly, and closed his eyes.

Clarke finally had the courage to face Bellamy, who was already staring intently at her.

“So you calling me princess wasn’t a dream, then? Are you back?” She asked quietly, unsure of the line drawn between them now.

Bellamy gave her a small smile, “not a dream,” he agreed. 

Clarke could tell something wasn’t right with him, and was just about to ask, but Octavia changed the subject. 

“Great, how are we getting out of here, then? Clarke,” Octavia looked at her, “you said get Bellamy, and then you had an idea?”

Clarke looked a little sheepishly at her, “oh yeah. My plan was to get Bellamy back, and then create another plan to have him get you guys out while I’m in MCAP with Bill—a distraction that’s perfect to get you guys back. If Bellamy says he would rather guard then watch my memories, as he was already there when the memories happened, then I’m sure the religious fanatic wouldn’t mind. Right?” She looked hopefully at Bellamy.

“Clarke,” he started, already vehemently opposed, “we’re not doing that.”

“And why not?” Clarke asked, mad at his excessive disagreement, “you could do it, I know you could.”

Octavia placed her hand on Clarke’s arm, “Clarke, that’s not the part we disagree about. You sacrificing yourself again is what we don’t like.”

Clarke blinked, confused, “why? Isn’t that the best way to distract him? Unless you two can think of a different plan? I know my way around this place, and if you get Gabriel and Levitt, I’m sure they can figure out the codes to get back to Sanctum and a way to get the helmets we need to cross the anomaly, and I can come after.”

Bellamy sighed, “I’m not leaving you alone again, Clarke. Not happening.”

Clarke huffed, “you wouldn’t be leaving me Bellamy. You would be getting our people to safety, which should always come before me. You know that.”

He slid down the door to sit, still distancing himself from her. 

“Clarke. We should talk about what happened.” He said, trying to change the subject.

She scoffed, “no we don’t, we need to get off this god forsaken planet before Bill decides killing us is easier than keeping us around.”

Bellamy met Octavia’s eyes, pleading with her to make Clarke see sense.

Octavia rolled her eyes at him, “what do you think I can do? She’s just as stubborn, if not more, as me and you. She should talk about what happened, I had Levitt who helped me through it. But, if she doesn’t want to yet, then we shouldn’t force her. She’ll come around when she needs us. Right, Clarke?”

Clarke smiled gratefully at her, “of course. We can discuss my trauma another time when our friends aren’t about to get executed.”

Bellamy’s face fell, “still, I need to talk to you alone.”

Octavia smirked at him, “okay Big Brother, you could have just asked,” and she went next to Miller to close her eyes, but spoke again right before she fell asleep: “You guys better wake us up when this plan goes down because if I sleep through our escape, I’ll be pissed.”

Clarke chuckled, “I got you Octavia, don’t worry.”

She nodded, pleased, and turned around.

“What’s up?” Clarke asked, not understanding why Bellamy wanted to talk. She was suddenly extremely nervous to be around him—which never happened until after Praimfaya and she saw him kiss Echo.

He used to feel like home to her. Before the radiation, she felt like they were the perfect complements of each other—keeping each other centered, balanced, and alive. After being alone for six years, hugging him felt like she was finally complete again. And the future she imagined for years wouldn’t just be a nice dream to help her sleep at night—it could actually be possible.

Then he kissed Echo, and everything she felt for him amplified into a longing and loneliness too strong to be placed into words. 

He was her entire world, but she wasn’t enough for him. _He didn’t know you were alive,_ her mind chided at her. _Not like that would matter,_ the logical part added helpfully. He loves Echo. And she would live with that, wouldn’t she? His happiness is what matters most, and if someone else can provide it, then what could she do? _Nothing_. 

She wasn’t meant to have a happy ending.

“I wanted to say sorry, Clarke. I should have protected you better. I put myself and my feelings ahead of you, ahead of our family, ahead of what matters, and there is no apology large enough to encompass how sorry I am.” Bellamy wiped his eyes, trying to hide his tears from her, “I lost my way back to you, but I’m here now—I’ll be anything you need me to be.”

Clarke ignored her tears while she moved to sit next to Bellamy. She placed her head on his shoulder and intertwined her hand with his. 

“Bellamy, I don’t need an apology from you. Ever. Remember? ‘If you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven’? It applies here too. I don’t blame you for believing in their ways. They promise to save all mankind, to not place others ahead of someone else. 

“I know you, Bellamy. A way to save everyone? Why wouldn’t you believe in them? Some of my greatest regrets were when I had to pick some human beings in favor of others, which I’m sure are yours too. We lead to the best of our ability, but it’s not always enough. People get hurt, people die, people we love get separated from us, it’s not an easy life to live. 

“But, that’s the problem with them, isn’t it? They don’t choose to love the same way we do. Some love is unconditional, but some is built up from nothing. We love, make mistakes, help, survive, learn, and rebuild. Those are the characteristics that make us human. Loving the way we do isn’t a weakness, it’s what keeps us going when times are unforgiving. 

“These people forego any sense of truly living. He forces his people to be foot soldiers, not knowing that there’s another way to live. Why choose the world where we will always be a simple pawn in that man’s war? Denying love, denying friendships, ultimately denies our reason for existing.”

Clarke’s head was still on his shoulder and his head on hers. They didn’t speak for a moment, and Clarke was just content to stay here forever. 

After a moment longer, Bellamy cleared his voice and spoke quietly.

“I know you said forgiveness is given, but I can’t imagine being alone for two months, and I have to say I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry for what I did to Madi behind your back. You had every reason to leave me in the fighting pit, I deserved it—“

Clarke’s head snapped up at that, “no, you did not. Bellamy, I already said how wrong I was to leave you there, and I still mean it when I say you’re too important to me. Madi was my life for so long that I lost sight of everyone else. 

“For years I thought I didn’t manage to save you guys, that I didn’t align the dish in time or forgot to do something. It haunted me everywhere I went, Bellamy. Madi was there helping me through it, though, and raising her has been a highlight of my life, but so was meeting you. I was wrong to leave you. I will never make that mistake again.”

Bellamy was speechless, staring at Clarke like she hung the moon. Clarke couldn’t decipher his expression, “are you okay?”

Bellamy laughed, and Clarke’s stomach flipped at the sound.

“Yeah, princess, I’m okay now,” he chuckled again, but sobered up quickly and added, “I wish I heard your calls in space.”

Clarke’s face reddened, but Bellamy kept going: “I don’t know what I would have done if I heard but couldn’t reply back. It would have saved me three years of grieving you, that’s for sure.”

He let out a huff, “hell, if I knew, everyone else would have been grateful too. I was horrible to be around without you, Clarke Griffin. I didn’t realize—“ He cut himself off there, shook his head, and continued, “when you told me to use my head with my heart, I took that too seriously. After three years, I stopped thinking with my heart entirely. I would think to myself: ‘how would Clarke handle this?’ ‘What would Clarke do?’” 

He smiled then and looked at her, “you never left me, even when I thought you were gone forever. So, thank you for keeping me sane for six years, too. We are quite the pathetic duo, huh?”

Clarke smiled through her fresh tears, “quite” she agreed easily, and added softly, “I’ve missed you, Bellamy.”

Bellamy smiled and gave her the same side hug Octavia did, but this felt better. Resting his head on Clarke’s again, he sighed, “tomorrow we are getting out of here. And we’ll do it together, like always.”

Clarke smiled, grabbed his hand once more, and let her eyes close in contentment, “always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys are alright after this chapter, im not😭😭
> 
> bellarke’s angst and love and emotions hurts my very existence 
> 
> lmk what you guys think🥺i hope this was okay!!


	5. let’s get out of bardo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> escape time

Clarke bolted up awake. Frantically, she looked around at the chaos that had erupted. Octavia was holding Miller back who was yelling at Bellamy. Bellamy was talking in ‘his dad voice’ (as Clarke called it) back at them, obviously trying to explain something.

She got up slowly, her body feeling worse today than the last two—but, her mind was still as sharp as ever.

Bellamy, as if sensing her, quickly turned around.

She sighed, leaning against the wall, “what’s wrong?”

Miller quickly explained, “Bellamy wants to put you in that devil machine again, Clarke! I thought you swore she’d be safe with you?”

Miller was almost growling, so Clarke went between the two groups.

“Miller, let’s hear the whole plan before you chop his head off, alright? Anyways, I already said I was going back there, I’m okay with it.”

Miller scoffed under his breath with “yeah, well, I’m not.”

Octavia sighed in relief, “damn. I knew we should have just woken you up.”

Clarke smiled at her and turned towards Bellamy, “what’s your plan?”

Bellamy crossed his arms, “he didn’t even let me finish,” he puffed out a breath, “my new plan was for me to leave behind my badge, which opens up the doors, while I go with you. And, before you disagree, I figured they will have Gabriel, Hope, and Raven there still—since they use them against you. If I go with you, I can disable Bill and as many of the guards I can, while you free our friends, who can help fight.”

Clarke closed her eyes for a second, and pinched the bridge of her nose, thinking. 

“Okay,” she concluded easily, “I’ll fight too, after I get our friends out of their restraints. Octavia, do you know your way to the others and where to find helmets? Do you think you should wait for us, or should you guys just go before us?”

Octavia tilted her head, “hm, I do know a way to them and enough helmets, especially if I get Levitt to help me. I think we should wait for you guys, just in case Gabriel doesn’t know the correct coding.”

Bellamy and Clarke both nodded at that, and Miller huffed again, “what if this goes to shit? Are we making a plan B?”

Clarke shrugged, “let’s see how this works out, then reconfigure the plan if, you know, it ‘goes to shit’.”

Bellamy agreed, “okay, this sounds good. One problem,” he added, indicating Clarke.

Clarke raised her eyebrows, “I’m the one problem? How so?”

Bellamy narrowed his eyes at her, “Clarke, you can barely stand up. There is no way in hell that you’re going to be able to fight with us. You should just focus on getting our friends free, and staying upright, and leave the fighting to me, okay?”

Clarke was about to argue with him, but he quickly turned around and went out the door.

She gasped, affronted, “what the fuck was that?” She asked the other two.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “my brother is one for the dramatics, but I’m guessing he needs to act like he wasn’t here all night.”

Clarke nodded, still a little shocked that Bellamy left so suddenly. She sighed, “Miller, are you okay with this?”

His lips were pressed tightly, “I suppose I’m on board. I’m just worried about you, Clarke, that’s all.” 

Clarke softened at that and walked slowly over to him.

“I know, thank you. We’ll be okay, this will work, I know it will,” she gripped his forearms.

He brought her into a hug, “I better see you soon, Griffin.”

She smiled into his shoulder, “you will. Be careful, you two.”

Octavia smiled at her and joined in on the hug.

That’s how Bellamy found them when he re-emerged.

He looked emotionless again when Clarke turned around, and even though she knew he was pretending, her heart dropped. _I wonder if this is how he felt when I pretended to be Josie,_ she suddenly wondered at the parallel.

He spoke clearly, chin raised, “Clarke, are we really going to do this again? Just hand over the key, and everything will go back to normal.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “you know my answer.”

Bellamy’s eyes met hers, “then let’s get this over with.”

She grabbed Octavia’s and Miller’s hands, squeezed them, and let go. 

Clarke wobbled forwards, still a little off balance from the violation of her mind, and she saw Bellamy almost step forward to catch her. She met his eyesight once more, slightly shaking her head no. _That wouldn’t help our plan,_ she thought, scared Bellamy might give them away for a second. He understood and stepped away from her, though he looked pained to do so.

Clarke managed to straighten up, and she walked out the door after the guards. Bellamy went last, going to plan, leaving behind his card and letting the door shut slow enough to allow Octavia to stop it with her foot. 

Bellamy caught up, walking besides Clarke, and he let back of his hand touch hers for a second before he took it away.

Clarke showed no indication, but her hand suddenly felt hot. _Why would he do that? Did it mean something?_ She thought, suddenly confused at the action, but then she scoffed in her mind, _probably support, dumbass, don’t overthink it._

They continued just like the last two days, Clarke’s chin was raised in defiance while Bellamy looked like the shell of the man she loved. 

But not for long.

They walked into the blinding room, but Bellamy immediately knocked out the two guards in front, and locked the room, while Clarke ran to their people. Bill, caught off guard, started yelling at the three guards left to shoot to kill. 

They planned for this, of course, knowing how the minds of power hungry religious fanatics works and all—from previous encounters.

Bellamy and Clarke fell to ground the minute Bill opened his mouth, and they crawled forwards.

Once the guns needed to be reloaded, Bellamy jumped up and kicked Gabriel’s guard in the stomach. Clarke crawled towards Gabriel, and cut the ties with a fallen piece scalpel that fell off the lady in white’s desk when she fell—avoiding the gun fire.

Gabriel immediately got up and punched the guard to Hope, while Clarke worked on Raven’s ties. Raven also got up and grabbed a gun, she pointed it at Bill and shot him in the foot.

_Not part of the plan, but I approve,_ Clarke thought smiling. 

Clarke got Hope freed, who then helped Bellamy knock out the few guards who got up again to attack them.

Clarke walked over to Bill, and crouched down to him, “weren’t expecting this, were you? I’m going to be honest here, I would love to end your meaningless life for torturing me, but you know what? We are the good guys here, and I’m taking my family back home to MY daughter, and I don’t want more blood on my hands. Remember this if you ever decide to fuck with my family again,” she went closer to his ear, “do you understand?” 

Bill nodded, and was about to open his mouth to say something but Hope knocked him out cold before he could.

Clarke got up and smiled at her, “thanks for that. I didn’t really want to hear more of his voice.”

Hope chuckled, “anytime.”

Bellamy walked next to Clarke, “okay, we have to go. Now. Everyone should be waiting for us at the stone. Everyone okay?”

Gabriel just knocked out the lady, and was picking a gun, while Raven and Hope did the same with two others.

He received nods all around, and he grabbed Clarke’s arm to sling it over his.

“What are you doing? I can walk just fine,” and she took a step away and got so dizzy from the adrenaline shifts in her sore body that she almost toppled again.

Bellamy caught her, with a small smile, “I’m sure, Princess, that you can kick ass all day after we get home, but first we need to make it to the stone without falling.”

Clarke sighed, accepting her fate, even though everywhere he touched felt all tingly again.

Raven grabbed Clarke’s free hand, “let’s go home.”

Clarke tightened her grip, but let go the minute the door opened back up. 

Gabriel quickly handed out the five helmets the unconscious disciples had on them, and then they walked into the dimmer hallway.

“Eyes sharp, weapons hot, we can do this,” Bellamy spoke quietly, everyone on his heels.

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh a little, “I knew I got that somewhere.”

Bellamy smiled at her laugh, and they kept going.

They made it to the stone room quickly, with only a few mishaps (Hope and Gabriel just knocked them out fast).

They opened the room, and found everyone pointing their guns at them.

Clarke put her free hand up, “guys, it’s just us, let’s get out of here. Now.”

Octavia and Miller smiled at her and took Bellamy’s place easily. Bellamy was about to reject, but Miller glared at him enough to shut him up. Levitt locked the door from the inside, gaining them a few moments to escape. 

Clarke nodded at Levitt, who just started punching in the codes for Sanctum, “let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayokay not my best work🥺 but the next chapter should be less filly and more kill sheidheda-y i promise!!
> 
> lmk what you think if you want to, i always love hearing what you guys have to say💞💞


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